Day 662

As you all know I LOVE to run. Other than being a form of exercise it is a great stress reliever for me. Well since injuries from the half marathon and the cold (I normally love to run in the cold)--I have not run much and surly not outside. I spend my time running inclines on the treadmill. The last few days I have gone back to running outside. I was quickly reminded that I need to be on guard by these signs posted on all of the crosswalk stop signs. I think I might have found the REAL reason I have not been running outside. Last month there was an ATTACK in the morning on one of the trails I frequently run. I think subconsciously it got to me. I have not run outside since that attack. When I run it is just me, my feet, the concrete, and my ipod. It is where I look. It is where I think. It is where I pound out my frustrations. It is where I get energized. It is where I stand in awe of God's creation. It is the ONLY time of my day that is just for me. But now because of some sick individual I feel robbed of that. I have always put my safety pretty high up there. I don't run on trails off in the woods. I also stay off of the ones that venture too far off the busy streets. There have been times when I have left the trail and ran on the road because I have felt uncomfortable by someone who has passed me or is running kind of near to me. I keep my ipod low enough to hear the squirrels jump away from me, so I am always on alert. Well now, I feel like I am just staring off into the brush the whole time I am running. I am trying to hurry up and get back to the most open area. I am studying the face of every person that runs or rides by me. My outside run is no longer relaxing because I am tense the whole time and I don't like it! Obviously it is something I need to work through because even if/when this moron is caught there will be someone else there to take him place. It is just so frustrating. Marc has offered to ride his bike with me on my long runs. That is very sweet of him, but I am not that fast, he would fall over. We have also discussed me getting mace to clip onto my belt and maybe getting a single jogger--I have a double, so Hannah can tag along. Today on my second trip around the short loop I felt semi-comfortable because I did finally see people. All of the women were in groups of 2 or more. The ones that weren't had dogs with them. My dog can't even walk a mile, so that is not an option. I really don't want a running buddy because then it is not ME time. Oh what to do.......